Revolving lights : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 7 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Revolving lights : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 7
John Stuart Mill · en
He was still waiting unchanged. Yet not waiting. There was no waiting in
him. There would be, for him, no more dropping down out of life into the
humble besogne de la pensée. That was why she felt so near to him, yet
alive, keeping the whole of herself, able to say anything, or nothing.
She smiled her delight. There was no sheepishness in his answering
radiance, no grimace of the lips, not the least trace of any of the ways
men had of smiling at women. Yet he was conscious, and enlivened in the
consciousness of their being man and woman together. His eyes, without
narrowing from that distant vision of his, yet looked at her with the
whole range of his being. He had known obliterating partialities, had
gone further than she along the pathway they forge away from life, and
returned with nothing more than the revelation they grant at the outset;
his further travelling had brought him nothing more. They were equals.
But the new thing he brought so unobstructively, so humbly identifying
and cancelling himself that it might be seen, was his, or was
Russian....
Looking at him she was again carried forth, out into the world. Again
about the whole of humanity was flung some comprehensive feeling she
could not define.... It filled her with longing to have begun life in
Russia. To have been made and moulded there. Russians seemed to begin,
by nature, where the other Europeans left off....
"The educated _specialists_," she quoted to throw off the spell and
assert English justice, "are the ones who have found out about the
people; not the people themselves." His face dimmed to a mask ... dead
white Russian face, crisp, savage red beard, opaque china blue eyes,
behind which his remembered troops of thoughts were hurrying to range
themselves before her. Michael broke in on them, standing near, glowing
with satisfaction, making a melancholy outcry about the last 'bus. She
moved away leaving him with Lintoff and turned to the bedside unprepared
with anything to say.
Where could she get a little close-fitting black cap, and an enveloping
coat of that deep velvety black, soft, not heavy and tailor-made like
an English coat, yet so good in outline, expressive; a dark moulding for
face and form that could be worn for years and would retain, no matter
what the fashions were, its untroublesome individuality? Not in London.
They were Russian things. The Russian woman's way of abolishing the mess
and bother of clothes; keeping them close and flat and untrimmed.
Shining out from them full of dark energy and indifference. More
oppressively than before, was the barrier between them of Madame
Lintoff's indifference. It was not hostility. Not personal at all; nor
founded on any test, or any opinion.