The trap : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 8 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
The trap : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 8
John Stuart Mill · en
Her light busy footfall was audible upstairs as Miriam faced the boxes
and parcels waiting, piled amongst the furniture of the little back
room, to be unpacked.... With Sunday at hand it would never occur to
Miss Holland to leave it all and go out. But she too must be wanting
tea. There could be tea, now, amongst the wreckage. Laughter and
relaxation.
Yet not to go out now was to miss so much. To go out, leaving behind
this treasure of disorder, and sit at leisure in an undisturbed world,
would be to reap the full adventure of being installed. Homekeeping
people missed that adventure. They slaved on and on, saying how nice it
will be when everything is _straight_. And then wondered why it was not
nice.
Left to herself, she would now go out, not only for tea but for the
whole evening, into a world renewed. There would be one of those
incidents that punctually present themselves at such moments, a link in
the chain of life as it appears only when one is cut off from fixed
circumstances. She would come home lost and refreshed. Laze through
Sunday morning. Roam about the rooms amongst things askew as though
thrown up by an earthquake, their exposed strata storied with memory and
promise. There would be indelible hours of reading and dreaming, of
harvesting the lively thought that comes when one is neither here nor
there, but poised in bright light between a life ended and a life not
yet begun. The blissful state would last until dusk deepened towards
evening and would leave her filled with a fresh realisation of the
wonder of being alive and in the midst of life, and with strength to
welcome the week slowly turning its unknown bright face towards her
through the London night. With great speed, at the eleventh hour, she
would get everything roughly in order.
Miss Holland appeared at the sitting-room door, eyeing the disorder.
Miriam groaned her fatigue aloud.
“Let’s leave it,” said Miss Holland, contemptuously. “Oh, let’s _leave_
it,” she wailed in a protesting falsetto, with averted face and
outstretched fingers disgustedly flipping.
“Let’s drop everything and go out for tea,” she went on, relaxing,
looking into space, while with eyebrows raised disdainfully she stood
halted for response.
“Oh, agreed,” said Miriam. “I’m expiring.”
“We will _not_ expire. We will seek tea _immediately_.”
She swung round on one heel and bounded lightly back into the bedroom
with her tinkling laugh. The little scene remained in Miriam’s eyes,
somewhere within it the exchanged glance of delighted understanding that
had driven them both to cover which was not cover, for they were
immediately together again, and the dividing curtain could not mask the
results of their encounter, the quick movements, the duet of cheerful
hummings.
6
Miriam went back into the little room to collect her outdoor things;
checking an impulse to eager snatching, steadying herself against the
sudden arrival of the personal note.